Understanding with your Heart

Understanding. 

It is a word that has different meanings. First, in a literal sense, it means knowing the meaning of words, comprehending their significance, and applying them to your situation. This kind of understanding occurs in your brain.

There also, though, is a more figurative sense of the word, as portrayed by the rebellious teenage child when she screams at her mother:

You do NOT understand me!!! No one understands what I am going through!!!

This meaning of understanding has to do more with sympathy. It is caring. It is knowing where someone is and loving them where they are, despite how it affects you. This kind of understanding occurs in your heart.

(Are you happy that I gave you a 1st-grade lesson on the meaning of the word understanding? Don´t worry...it has significance. Keep reading please :)

Both types of understanding have been absolutely essential for my growth during my time in Spain, especially in regards to my host family.

Obviously, I have had to work really hard to understand completely what my host family and other Spaniards are saying to me.  Sometimes, I honestly cannot understand what they are trying to ask me or tell me, so I awkwardly come up with some kind of answer, knowing that many times, it is the answer to a completely different question. I have been so exasperated at times that I just settle for this type of interaction instead of truly trying to comprehend their question. Showing effort in even minute, simple details proves that you care about what they are saying.

It is only when I intently listen that I can see where they are coming from, sympathize with their feelings, and give them a hug to let them know you care.  It is only then that I can understand with my heart.

When I have given my host mom my absolute undivided attention, I have been able to understand her points of view and see things in a new light, even if I do not necessarily agree with her. I have been able to understand her words, though in a different language, and through her words I have been able to see her beautiful heart.

But I first have to understand her words in order to understand her heart. 

...Profound, huh?

But it is so incredibly true. Think about it. How many times have you been at dinner with somebody, but only half listened because you were too occupied with the number of notifications you had on Facebook? How many times have you neglected to hear your little sister request to go for a walk or play barbies because you were too busy reading a book, watching TV, or checking your email? I certainly know I am guilty of it.

People always say things like:

I totally understand. That must be so hard. 
I definitely know what you are going through. 
I cannot imagine being where you are. 

Yes, these kind phrases can be helpful. But did that person take the time to truly listen - to truly understand- what exactly they are thinking, feeling, and going through? Or did they simply listen to the problem half-heartedly, not asking any deeper questions, and skipping straight to the easy-to-say, cliche maxims that anyone on the planet could say to the person undergoing a dilemma.

My experience has been different, of course, because of the language barrier. Although it is more true in a foreign setting, I still believe that intently listening is something I have neglected greatly in my life.  But it is only when I truly listen and ask deeper questions that I can understand what they are saying. Then, I can understand with my heart.

Then, I can love. 

¿Valencia como Williamsburg?

En los Estados Unidos, he visitado un sitio se llama Williamsburg tres veces con mi familia y con mi colegio. Cuando se va a Williamsburg, se experimenta la vida de los americanos durante el siglo XVIII.  No sólo hay tiendas, tabernas, y lugares de trabajo, sino también las personas llevan la ropa de esta época, hablan con un acento británico, y realizan la reconstrucción de los hechos, como los discursos y las batallas.  

Me encantaba este tipo de sociedad porque demuestre un sentimiento de comunidad; era una cultura más lente, con personas que valen las amistades y disfrutan del tiempo que tienen. 

                

Aunque no hay reconstrucciones de los hechos del pasado en Valencia (excepto las de Las Fallas), el sentimiento de comunidad en Valencia parece lo de Williamsburg.  En mi camino del instituto, cada día pasa cafeterías, pastelerías (mi absoluta favorita), fruterías, hornearías  bollerías, restaurantes, y otras tiendas innumerables.

Siempre los españoles llenan las sillas, hablando, contando cosas, tomando café, y comiendo.  

Esto es una distinción de la cultura española, que como la cultura vieja de los Estados Unidos, me encanta.  

Cuando llegué a Valencia y Dr. Wiseman nos dijo que las reuniones con amigos no están en las casas, no entendí.  Pensé ¿Cómo puedo pasar tiempo con otras personas? En los Estados Unidos, quedamos en las casas, o a veces en una cafetería o restaurante.  Pero normalmente, si quedo con un amigo es para hablar sobre algo importante o para celebrar una ocasión especial.  Como me he hecho una parte de la cultura española, he notado la gran ventaja de las reuniones en cafeterías.  No sólo puede pasar tiempo con mis amigas y disfrutar de las pasteles uno o dos veces por semana, sino también puede desarrollar una relación nueva con las trabajadores y los dueños de las cafeterías.  Crea la comunidad verdadera – tal vez la misma persona que posee la cafetería donde tomo café compra la fruta y verdura de mi tienda. 
¡Es menos una cultura de correr, correr, correr, y más de sentar, hablar, disfrutar, como en los días viejos de los Estados Unidos!