K's Adoption

We have some crazy exciting news to share.

Soon, we will be able to take the heart emoji off K's adorable smile. We will be able to call "K" by his actual name, and we will be able to add Pancake to the end of it. K will be adopted into our family next week. And we couldn't be more excited.

Let me just tell you that this in no way was my plan. It is a story, K's story, written by the God who loves us. It has played out beautifully, in ways that I never expected and sometimes can't put into words.

When I got the call about K, I was at a teacher work day at school in October. I listened as the placement worker told me all the things she is supposed to: about his siblings, his behaviors, his past, etc. She told me the good and the bad, but mostly the bad. She told me that this would be more of a potential adoptive placement more than a foster placement, as his parents' rights had already been terminated. This made me really nervous. TJ and I decided to start foster care to foster. If adoption was an option (which usually takes a longgggggggggg time in foster care), then we would most likely be open to it, but it wasn't our first priority. (It still isn't, but that is for another post!)  I wasn't sure how I felt about our first foster care placement being an adoption situation right off the bat. What if we weren't ready to start a family? What if we weren't prepared for what a 9 year old boy was dealing with? Shouldn't we just get some experience first in foster care before we jump into adoption?

I got off the phone and immediately called TJ, excited but nervous. I would say I was about 30% ready to say yes.When we started the foster care process, I was the one super excited to start. But reality hit me, and I just got plain scared. Then, when it got real, TJ was the one who jumped at the chance to have a kid in our home. He immediately said, "Well, I know this wasn't the plan, but if our main goal is to provide kids with a home, then shouldn't we say yes?" He was at 90% yes - already.

His simple obedience inspired me to re-think about my questions. They were legitimate worries, but was I saying no out of faith or fear? When it came down to it, the answer was fear. We spent a weekend thinking, praying, and talking about the decision, but we finally decided on YES, YES, A THOUSAND YESES.

When K came to live with us, he fit right in (ask anyone who knows him!). He jumped right in to dance parties, laughing at jokes, and singing loud in the car. God sent neighbors that are his age at the exact time that he moved in with us, provided friends in his class and church, and gave him the most wonderful 2nd grade teacher. We couldn't believe how natural it felt.

BUT I had prepared my heart for foster care - the roller coaster of visits, court dates, the cheering on of the family while you have the kids, etc. There was none of that, but there was uncertainty about whether or not he would stay. There was a chance that he would be moved with other family, and although I wouldn't have admitted it, that terrified me. Everyday, we chose to love K because God had placed him in our family, for however long he was supposed to be a part of our family. It didn't matter whether or not he was leaving or staying; we were called to love him in the middle of uncertainty - a time that was weird for us, but I'm sure a thousand times more scary for him. I needed to be prepared for whatever God had in store for him, whether that was a sudden removal or a sudden forever.

A few months ago, K gave his life to Christ and asked to get baptized. In many ways on this journey, I feel like God is steering the wheel and I am just along for the ride. I watch God change K's life in the most wonderful of ways - right before my very eyes. And in that process, He also is changing me.

The world of foster care and adoption and the orphan crisis is a scary one. It is heartbreaking, it is hard, ordinary work, it is unrelenting chaos. But I have never so much believed that God is with me and that He is good. I have never so much trusted in His love for K and His love for me. God calls us to do the work of caring for the needy because doing justice is Godliness - it is just like God. (Just look at who Jesus, God incarnate, spent time with when he was on earth!) And when we do this work, He is with us. And when He is with us, we are strong enough to do the work. He straight-up tells us this way back in Isaiah 58. And then Jesus tells us again in Matthew 25:40 that when we serve the "least of these," we are serving Him.

I knew we were supposed to do it, but I didn't know it would look like this - so beautiful and broken and scary. I knew that we were called by God to care for the orphan, but I didn't know that caring for the orphan would push me closer to the heart of God and rest, like never before, in His love for me.

When we get close to the broken, we experience Jesus. When we are broken because of the broken, God is ever near.

Next week, K gets a new name. He gets to stay with us forever.

Throughout all of this, I have been struck by a facet of God that I knew about Him and thought was beautiful but had never experienced: He is Emmanuel, God with us. 

Here is Isaiah 58:

“Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast.
    Shout aloud! Don’t be timid.
Tell my people Israel[a] of their sins!
2     Yet they act so pious!
They come to the Temple every day
    and seem delighted to learn all about me.
They act like a righteous nation
    that would never abandon the laws of its God.
They ask me to take action on their behalf,
    pretending they want to be near me.
3 ‘We have fasted before you!’ they say.
    ‘Why aren’t you impressed?
We have been very hard on ourselves,
    and you don’t even notice it!’

“I will tell you why!” I respond.
    “It’s because you are fasting to please yourselves.
Even while you fast,
    you keep oppressing your workers.
4 What good is fasting
    when you keep on fighting and quarreling?
This kind of fasting
    will never get you anywhere with me.
5 You humble yourselves
    by going through the motions of penance,
bowing your heads
    like reeds bending in the wind.
You dress in burlap
    and cover yourselves with ashes.
Is this what you call fasting?
    Do you really think this will please the Lord?

6 “No, this is the kind of fasting I want:
Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;
    lighten the burden of those who work for you.
Let the oppressed go free,
    and remove the chains that bind people.
7 Share your food with the hungry,
    and give shelter to the homeless.
Give clothes to those who need them,
    and do not hide from relatives who need your help.

8 “Then your salvation will come like the dawn,
    and your wounds will quickly heal.
Your godliness will lead you forward,
    and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.
9 Then when you call, the Lord will answer.
    ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply.

“Remove the heavy yoke of oppression.
    Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors!
10 Feed the hungry,
    and help those in trouble.
Then your light will shine out from the darkness,
    and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.
11 The Lord will guide you continually,
    giving you water when you are dry
    and restoring your strength.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
    like an ever-flowing spring.
12 Some of you will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities.
    Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls
    and a restorer of homes.

13 “Keep the Sabbath day holy.
    Don’t pursue your own interests on that day,
but enjoy the Sabbath
    and speak of it with delight as the Lord’s holy day.
Honor the Sabbath in everything you do on that day,
    and don’t follow your own desires or talk idly.
14 Then the Lord will be your delight.
    I will give you great honor
and satisfy you with the inheritance I promised to your ancestor Jacob.
    I, the Lord, have spoken!”